Andrea's thoughts


8/10/13 Right now we are in a trance of craziness it feels like a nightmare. Is this real?
You limped.
You got sicker.
I made them not do more tests.

Until we knew it was bad.
They life flighted you from Stillwater to OKC OU childrens medical center.
The doctors are saying leukemia and viruses and your poor little body is fighting so hard.

You are so beautiful and perfect as you lay in your little hospital bed. You have lines in your leg, monitors on your chest, a respirator tube and feeding tube and iv in your arm. You absolutely hate the blood pressure cuff. And so do I because you wince everytime it checks you.

But your blood pressure is not good.
Your platelets are not good.
Your white blood cells and red blood cells are confused.
You've got rhinovirus.
You've got endovirus.
Your kidneys are angry.
And your entire body hurts.

You are safe. You are loved. You are perfect.

One day, I will say remember that time when you got uber sick and fought like a champion? Dang your body is so strong, must be the breast milk, KIDDING!

And we will laugh and cry and reminisce about this weird surreal time.

I'm wondering if this is all to make me slow down? Stop building a Montessori school and just concentrate on you and George.
Is this God saying "hey Andrea you need to take care of your own kids only?"

Your dad is doing well but he is a wreck inside. We both are so worried. George is hanging out with Tori and then the grandparents he misses his best friend-You.

When you get better I think we should go to the ocean or something awesome like that. Maybe Disney. Ireland. Italy.
Maybe we can move and start fresh somewhere. Colorado where the humidity and heat don't make us so cranky. We can convince everyone to move with us!

8/11/13
There's a baby crying next door and you're still on sedation.
We got the positive diagnosis today
Precursor b ALL
Your uncle Philip and Patrick and auntie Kathryn all came in and saw you
Grammy and Bobo too and father Ken blessed you with anointing oils.

We listened to two hours of information from oncology, signed countless amounts of paperwork and feel confident that we are doing the best for you.
George misses you. We miss you too!
Tomorrow we wean off breathing tube and start chemo.
Cari (little Grey's mom) and Daddy started a website to raise money to help, you have $2,000 in like two hours
I closed the Montessori school it's all about you now baby. We can kick it!

8/12/13
You're at $4000 this morning. I can pay back all the parents from the school now. I am starting to feel relief and able to be strong for you.
You are still fighting so hard and are so very sick. I miss you so much. I keep singing to you and giving you sweet kisses.
We got to sleep in a bed in the Ronald McDonald sleeping rooms, I slept in your room until 7am then took a nap and shower and came back.
You've got more weird spots showing up, little worrisome since we are supposed to start treatment today.

You are so strong.
I can't wait to hug you and hold you baby girl.

Mommy loves you.
-A