"Gimme head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Streaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there hair
Shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there mama
Everywhere daddy daddy
I have loved the music from the musical HAIR all my life probably because my mother raised me on wonderful 60's and 70's music! (Carole King, Eagles, Simon and Garfunkel, Bread, Beatles, Carpenters, John Denver, Jim Croce, Janis Joplin, Aretha Franklin, Anne Murray, and many more are the musicians that pop into my head tonight. But anyways back to HAIR.) Ever since Ainsley started losing her HAIR (three days ago) I've been watching this weird process of chemo working it's "magic". It's killing cancer cells, but its non discriminating it also kills the rapidly growing hair follicle cells. SOOOOO when I brush her hair we literally get a full brush. At home I admit I don't clean my brush everytime I use it and I lose a lot of hairs each day, usually Chris has to remind me that my brush looks hairy and then I clean it out probably once every week. When I clean it, its like a big hairball. That hairball is equivalent to what Ainsley is losing four times a day. I am pretty sure she will only have strands by next week.
Why am I blogging about hair loss in my four year old again. Because HAIR helps define many of us. When you start to lose it, it kind of sucks. Now I appreciate good bald heads, I absolutely love it when my husband shaves his head, he is very handsome and with a pretty shiny head it just makes his eyes sparkle! (hahaha, he is going to love that)
My dad is bald, my brother is balding, many men in my family have baldness happening and they don't celebrate it's beginning but eventually learn to love it. I've seen gorgeous women with bald heads and many that have thinning hair and they are all gorgeous.
So why is it different?
Ainsley is FOUR. She has had orange hair since day one. She even had orange cradle cap! (I called it cradle crap)
She had the straightest, finest, thickest hair that loves to get tangled up and loved to be matted in back. Every time, someone says "my what a pretty little girl you are with your red hair" she was reinforced that her hair was pretty, it was a part of her, and it was red. (We always laughed about how our hair is actually orange and people said red.)
Society reinforces physical appearance and so now we will just have to go forth and show everyone how awesome being bald can be.
Tomorrow, I plan on cutting off most of my hair and donating it with the help of my friend and hairdresser. When we get home and Ainsley is ready I will shave it down to a buzz and then clean razor it!
I will be bald with my daughter as long as needed because we are beautiful no matter how we look. This life lesson needs to be shown to the world and most importantly to my daughter. (Maybe to myself as well)